the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
