Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
