I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
