um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i will never coherently bang her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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