just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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