I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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