So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize