i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
