I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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