Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we're making bets on your personal life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.