Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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