Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
