direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
