I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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