It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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