so explain again why im purple
no
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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