i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
