maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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