i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
