I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
