At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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