so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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