She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I forget how to act sober
Randomize