its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
