he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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