you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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