i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
