wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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