In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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