It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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