From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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