Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
