How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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