I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
