Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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