A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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