Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
