I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was born a porn star she said
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
