i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I party with great urgency now.
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