it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize