He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
