Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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