I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
