So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I want her autograph on my taint
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
