booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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