I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
