I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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