That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
