kristin has been a bad kristin
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
