You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
