i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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