just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize