Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
