I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
