when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
