i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
