So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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