I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
vagina is talking i cant
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
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Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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