He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
