We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
