dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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