How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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