yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
