dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
