I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
