Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
