can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize