Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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