so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
