I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize