Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
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I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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